All im saying… we know the person can hurt you is the ther person you love the most. The person you care the most is who can change you the most.
I heard so many times how i change your life become… a stable life, family life, which i wanted the same, i thouht you wanted the same …
But i become aware, you want me to make your life happy, whatever it takes to make you happy.
And i did try, because i do love you. I want you to be happy.
Sad thing, the way to make me keep on doing it is still the same …
the nancy with her kids, her over 12 hour work, her weekend friends, her traveling stories the nancy you choosed to accompany you out of those seven in your lists. Thats the nancy, her, in early moment you knew and meet her, shes just like that. Havent change at all.
Yes, she came with bagage, but also came with the flames that amazed you. With her friendships flames, with her works schedules flames and with her travelers network flames. Those who made you wanted her at the first place.
And the best part, you said, most people said, “the nancy who didnt mind with her bagage since she have those flames keeps her alive 🙂 Happy with her bagage, in the lowest conditions of all, and survive with those flame surrounds her life 🙂 since she love her bagage as much as she love her flame 🙂
But the more shes with you, the more she must choose. She realise shes about to loose lots of things now. She’s reviewing back what it takes to given out one side of life for the rest of life with you 🙂
I miss you, lot, missing you too, a lot. But who i miss is just not you anymore. I miss the o’le you, who i came by to your place; after all the hectic life i have… after work, after those friends, after those travelers, after my house and maybe after my kids… after all the out loud life i have…and just run to you, spent time together with you and shares you, have you motivate me… talks, cry, upsets, throw out all the shits and be new again with drinks you made for me and we laugh…. the moments when we know each other well.. to well.
the moment you wanted to know me well, to understand me better, the one i have now is you who knows how to ‘judje’ me well and better.
Im loosing my self, asking my self again, all its been, is it worth? Im loosing my self, and you, it hurt me more 🙁
what is love anyway…