I’m tired of this ups and down. Last time I tried, I thought im the one who have to be patience, to listen more, to understand more, to wait more, then I hold more.
And each time i have to go through reaching that phase.
It takes a scream and wound in my heart.
Hours of hours on silence.
Continues with days and days of arguments.
in another waste of virtual time.
on hundreds of no-meeting-point discussions.
Because you want the logic when i told you how i feel.
Because Im angry you dont hear how my heart been crying.
Because you want me to reach your feeling when i try to understand it with logic.
Because im hurt to keep faill in reaching you.
Because you cry when i told you i give up.
Because i give up when you keep pushing me away with your attitude.
Because you said its my problems for unable to said out loud.
Because i dont know advantage to keep saying when theres no progress.
Because we say;
“I love you”
just to close it down.
No body listening, none of us.
No body change, none of us.
No body try hard but both of us leave it.
One just pass it away and live the life normally as nothing happen; because things supposedly finish just by discussions. Tho no solution and commitment to progress it. And we all can just faking that we still owns the love.
One just swallowed it and live the life to forget it. Each day try to press down the whole package of the problems. Include burying the love. And try more to bury deeper.
I can not be with you, for the millions time i told you, and im still telling you now.
Maybe you just not listening.. how can you if you just saying “i know i should try harder” to skipped it.
Maybe you just not seeing… how can you if you admit you been disconnected with me soo many times, and then what?
Maybe you just dont want it.. how can you if you think the solution should be giving a space for us
Maybe you just right… how can you be wrong because i been having all the critics and comments.
Maybe you just wrong.. how can you be right, when it soo easy to say “sorry i hurt you” again and you keep hurting the same way…again
If you cant listen and understand, maybe it just me.
I should tell myself out loud so I can show you…
I can not be with you
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